“There’s only one real evil in the world: mediocrity.” - Harlan Ellison
To be honest, I’m scared of mediocrity. Rather, I’m scared that my creative output would be taken as mediocre.
There are days when I’m head-strong, hardcore, ready to bring the fire down on a design project, or a piece of art, or a written work in progress. Then I get into the weeds and inside my head, and I start questioning creative decisions. Because my work doesn’t need to be better than other designers, artists or writers… I’m not interested in that. I’m interested in topping myself.
Excellence is its own master, owes no allegiance, bows its head to no regimen. It exists pure and whole like the silver face of the moon. Untouchable, unreachable, exquisite. But frustrating because it reminds us of how much mediocrity we put up with, just to get through the week. - Harlan Ellison
It’s painful how much I identify with that quote. I’m not striving for perfection, but I also don’t want to put crap out into the world. (Sidenote: I know this blog serves as my battlegrounds, where I am trying to break through the muck of my writing, but this is not what we’re talking about, I promise.) I scrutinize creative decisions all the time, and sometimes it worries me sick. I push through it, because there comes a breaking point where I realize that my decision will strengthen my creative objective.
At least I hope.
Kidding, of course. When I reach the breaking point, I am confident that it’s the path forward. Then I finish the work, because I have deadlines and bills.
As I write this, I realize that I need to define what mediocrity means to me. Mediocrity triggers several negative emotions. When I look at a piece of art, design or writing, I pay attention to how it makes me feel. I know excellence when I see it, and I know mediocrity when I feel it. That feeling is what I’m struggling with, because it’s a constant battle with myself, hence the scrutinizing in the moment.
Counterpoint to this: When I know my creative output is working, firing on all cylinders, it’s a different feeling, like I’m throwing jabs, setting up my knockout punch while fighting the champ, or I’m about to hit a walk-off home run. Granted, this is not EVERY SINGLE TIME, since I work on so many projects, and not all of them require this amount of high-level thought.
The idea of mediocrity, like fear, is always going to be an extra layer that I will have to push through. It will use a certain amount of creative energy, but I always find a way to make it happen.
